Thursday, December 30, 2010

Happy New Queer...Year...QUEER!

       Now I am sure you are wondering let me be clear because my bisexual intuition allows me to see both sides of the Kinsey Coin is that why not start now? Why wait until after the New Year? Well it's simple. I am planning to get shit-faced for New Years. Let me tell you something kids.
It's never a good idea to drink and blog.
If  I am gonna blog it's gonna be with a hangover of sorts.
Possibly, hopefully waking up to a good looking he, she, or ,gender non-conforming human being.
Maybe not a human being at all.
Maybe someone from another planet.
Perhaps a sensual Vulcan hottie coverboy that was on the pages of Illogical Illustrated or sweet young Tw'lek girl that escaped Jabba's sailing barge before that religious zealot Jedi Luke Skywalker assassinated him.

Ahh but one can dream...and drink...and wake up covered in their own sick.
 Or perhaps somebody else's.
 Heck maybe both and isn't that what life is all about?


The freedom to choose.
Some people want a shot of Whiskey while other have a mug of beer?
Some want a Boiler Maker and that is about one of the most bisexual drinks you can have.
What it is folks is that you take a shot of whiskey, drop it into a mug of beer and drink it all down.
That is a orgy not only for your mouth but for your liver as well.
 but the bar is stocked ladies and gentlemen.
All kinds of alcohol.
Bailey's Irish creme,
Moscow Mule,
Jager Bombs,
Jell-O Shots,
Mead for crying out loud!
MEAD! Who invited Thor to tend the bar? AWESOME!
Now if you came to this bar and you only want beer. Good for you!
Maybe you will experiment with a Hienie.
Maybe some Colt .45 to see if it's true like in the hip-hop videos.
 Maybe share a Bud with a bud.
 Me? I'm gonna have..some wine...and then some Bourbon. and if it's a real bar they will have know what? I'm gonna have something I haven't had in a long time. Chambord with milk. That shit is fantastic and let me tell you something folks. Nothing is more fantastic than a product that will turn your milk a pimp shade of purple and fuck you up.
Don't believe me?
Ask the Quik Bunny. 

Look at him. He knows milk and he knows all kinds of fucked up. 

This New Year, 2011 I plan after sobering up to piss of as many people as possible in the name of sexual freedom. Some gays some straight, heck maybe even you. Why me you might ask? You tell me. But before you do enjoy some of the blissful peace or mildly brewing anger you got now.
Cuz shit is about to rage the fuck up folks. Email me folks with your questions and I'll read them while drunk then reread them while slightly sober and if I didn't mess them up with my bile, answer them.
Happy New Queer. See you next year,

The Bi Guy