Sunday, February 13, 2011

Wow...this one made my heart spin *sigh* Valentine's Day Special Edition

This was the comment I received on my post which was called "Like, eww" & other things said about me and my brothers. 

"Great post. I think I am getting it. I was married to a man who was straight, then bi, now gay but still likes girls and says he is still in love with me. It is very confusing. We are not happy apart but we are already divorced. Neither one of us wanted an "open marriage." But we are still in love with each other and care for each other even though we have sex and even have relationships with other men.

Here is my question: Can a bi-man love me as a woman? And what is the difference between bi and gay? " *
*Note: certain words were edited for spelling. 

This question. This right there. Is probably one of the hardest questions I have ever had personally directed at me. I have heard women talk about the Down Low. It's been on Oprah. It's been on talk shows. But this was personal. The moment that I finished the last sentence the sense of being an activist ceased and the feelings of connection of another human beings hurt & betrayal hit me right in right ventricle. How can I answer this question without it leaving out the emotional aspect of this person's anguish. The answer is simple. I can't. At the same time another couple I know have hit the end of their long time marriage. high school sweethearts. Married DURING high school. 

Damn you to bowls of Zalgo, Cupid, You arrow-shooting, a-hole! I have to say something really quick... 

A message to Cupid & all those who are going to break up with someone AFTER they receive their presents quoted from Penny Arcade 

"Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say anything else - word one - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming - as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth." 

   Yeah umm..I have thing with Valentine's Day but, back to my original post

Can a bi-man love me as a woman? And what is the difference between bi and gay?

I guess I will take the logical approach first then the emotional approach. broken down into three questions.

  1. What is the difference between a bisexual and gay
  2. Can a bi man truly love a woman? or Can I bi guy ever be monogamous?
  3. Is there really such thing as bi or will I always have to worry about a him becoming gay?

Answering the first one isn't that much of a challenge for me but the other ones I can't answer. Only the subject person can. So I will answer those questions not as ABG but as myself. The man behind ABG.

1. What is the Difference between Bisexual & Gay?

The difference between bisexual & gay is believe or not is orientation vs identity. Confused?
I was too so let me explain.

You have heterosexual,bisexual,& homosexual. Now those are the big three when it comes into sexuality. (Not to discount asexuality but I am not that familiar with asexuality & I also want to keep within the confines of bisexuality for this post.)  Then you have your identities. Such as pansexual,omnisexual, gay,lesbian, and yet again bisexual. *shrugs* I don't know how exactly that came about but it happened before I knew what was up.
There are people that identify with themselves as gay & yet still find some women attractive while there are women who identify as lesbians who still find certain men attractive. Oh & by attraction I do mean want to and/or does have sex with said others. There are some lesbians & gay men that have sex with each other because they find certain traits in each other they find desirable in each other. He may be the most feminine person she has ever been with and she may be the most masculine person he has ever been with and sexually or emotionally they connect. *shrugs* Life can't fit in a box nor can our desires.
To go deeper into that there are many people of color including black gay males who do not identify as gay due to the fact that they feel that the gay lifestyle has nothing to do with them s people of color due to the fact that everything gay caters to white men who love men and not men who love men. 

2. Can a bi man truly love a woman? or Can I bi guy ever be monogamous?

Short answer:Yes. Actor Montgomery Cliff said it best "I love men in bed, but I really love women!" Montgomery Clift: A Biography, by Patricia Bosworth 

and taken from the "all knowing Wikipedia 
"Patricia Bosworth, who had access to CliftElizabeth TaylorLibby Holman,Nancy Walker and Ann Lincoln. Clift struggled his whole life with his bisexuality, he once said 'I love men in bed, but I really love women!'"[4]

Elizabeth Taylor was a significant figure in his life. He met her when she was supposed to be his date at the premiere for The Heiress. They appeared together in A Place in the Sun, where their romantic scenes received considerable acclaim for their naturalness and their appearance. Clift and Taylor appeared together again in Raintree County and Suddenly, Last Summer.

Because Clift was considered unemployable in the mid 1960s, Taylor put her salary for the film on the line as insurance, in order to have Clift cast as her co-star in Reflections in a Golden Eye.[4] Clift died before the movie was set to shoot. Clift and Taylor remained good friends until Clift's death."

Maybe the word bisexual didn't exist back then as it does today. Maybe if there were other bisexuals & bisexual things to do who knows.   

  Can a bisexual guy ever be monogamous? That isn't a really practical question. It's hard to say if anybody can be monogamous to begin with. Another is there hasn't been a sincere scientific study on the length of relationship with bisexuals. How does one grade that? Bisexual with bisexual vs bisexual with homosexual vs bisexual with heterosexual? then age group due to social taboo & stigmas not to forget the difference in genders & trials & tribulations with each dynamic. 
  How long is a monogamous relationship? On what grounds does a relationship end for it to be a successful monogamous relationship? I couldn't even grasp on how to really figure that out but if you are asking me if any bisexual man can love you as a woman? Sure why not? If he can? I don't know. hopefully some sort of group counseling or gathering is taking place for the both of you. That is a lot to take in for anybody.

3.  Is there such thing as bi or will he eventually turn into a homosexual.

If i had a nickel for every time I heard that I would have another for every gay guy saying that a bi guy will eventually turn straight. A lot of bisexual women get pre-judged for not only have slept with guys and not denouncing their past love experience but stating that yes they still find themselves attracted to men. So a lot of lesbians feel that bisexual women will gravitate back to men & leave them.

Ok, here it is. Coming to terms late in life & even more so expressing it openly s probably one of the most confusing things a person can do. It's a second puberty. All of the social things a person grew up with said person has to learn & deal with now late in life. That teen angst, the Degrassi High feeling later in life sucks HARD & no one can teach you really. hmm...maybe.... Buy Having dad give you a talk about the homosexual birds & bees is probably not gonna happen. Did I hang out in gay clubs? YUUUP? Did I hang out with gay people? You bet your sweet bippy! Did I want to call myself gay? I did! Just because it was a  new world. Not gonna cue Ariel's "A Part Of Your World" cuz Disney scares me.  After awhile as I found other bisexual people I could identify more with them. It was easier for me to say I was bi because I had a place of other like minded people that accepted me. If I didn't I might have still said I was straight & wished or even cheated on the women I was with because when the day was over there was nothing for me in the gay community. I had no love of Madonna, Cher, musicals, circuit parties, or any of gay society. Not a social tropes for me to connect to & form an attachment with unfortunately. Still don't.

   In a nut shell I don't really know you but from what I read from your blog I don't see why anybody wouldn't be able to love you. Bisexual or hetero or gay. Monogamy, I think that bisexual guy would have to had sometime to understand his role as a bisexual man in today's society and with himself before he can with another woman or men and yes even you. 

I hope this helped somewhat & if you wish to you can always reach me at my email at 

I hope things work out well with your ex-husband.


Charlotte Jay said...

Thank you SO much for your post. I think agrees with Montgomery Clift quote. When I saw him last, he looked at me with a mix of love, pity, and guilt. It reminded me why I left in the first place. I need to move on and let someone else love me. Thank you once again.

CrackerLilo said...

My wife has been "warned" by other lesbian women that I'd leave her at any second, even after almost 20 years of knowing each other. We joke about how I'm going to run away with the first attractive pizza boy or UPS man who comes to our door. (That said, when we met a former NHL player who I had a huge crush on, she gripped my hand so hard it turned white!)

She had the best reply for one of her friends recently: "I don't need her to love all women or only women. I want her to love"--turns finger onto herself--"this woman." And I do, absolutely crazy. Nobody gets me more than she does, bisexuality and all.

Ask A Bisexual Guy said...

*hugs to all* Please. comment as you like. I made this blog for all of us.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Cracker LiLo. Wow..20 years, How about that. What's your secret?

LYEV MAHRK said...

Being attracted to the same sex in countries like USA,UK Canada is really easily as i have heard.There are still people there who don't like people like us but it not as bad as that of Russia cos here we are beaten jailed and sometimes even killed.You can't hold the hand of the one you care about in the public so as to avoid been harassed we can even set a place to me cos if we are caught we face jail time.Here in Russia we gay are prisoner in our own country.I am currently in a relation with my fiance and we had to leave Russia to be together.Before now his parent were against our relationship cos they had no idea he was gay we sneaked around knowing the risks if we were to be caught.When he finally got heart to tell him family the rejected him and asked he stops seeing me or they were going to turn him in and that scared him a lot his father is a very powerful man in Russia and he made it possible for him not to be able to live the country i mean as long as you have money in Russia anything goes.I was lucky they never got to meet me cos if they did i would have not been here right now writing this article that you are all reading.Probably i would have been in jail.Months passed and there was no way we could see each other cos they had him watched to make sure he is never get to meet me and also to know the person the was he was practicing this profane act with as they called it.They stripped him of all his right to the family assets and made him an outcast i could see he was suffering form the text he was sending me they made his life miserable and made him end our relationship.I knew he was confused and did know what to do to get his life back to make his family see him the way they use to.And i knew that his family were never going to accept his life style cos they are so anti gay.If they were to be a fund riser to fight gay practice in Russia his family will be the first to ask that they host it.I love him so much but he was scared of him family and they also had a grip on him.I know most person don't believe in what about to say but still if it wasn't for Mutton Osun a spell caster that i found on the internet i would not have been writing this.It happened maybe by a slim chance or fate that i was a blog were it happened that i read three distinct comment about how he help them with similar problem.I contacted him with an email address that was in the comment.I asked Mutton Osun to cast a spell to make my then boyfriend to make up his mind to run away from Russia with me to be together and also his family as in his father to make it possible for him to leave Russia with me and set a very comfortable life for us were we were going.And i know doing spells with someone you can't even see is outrageous but i promise you he makes you feel more at else when he calls and he really goes through with his promise cos he did with mine he was really helpful to him and kind.And like other people said he doesn't even charge you for what he is doing for you.I had to provide some list of materials that he asked that i get for my spell casting.I preferred that i sent the money down to him cos they were not easy to find and even when i found them it was so expensive but he could get them cheaply.He instructed me on how to make the spell work with great effect.It took 7 seven day and night to see it result.On the seventh night my boyfriend call me to tell me we could finally be together cos his father did agreed to do all i asked mutton osun to make him do i just knew at once it was Mutton Osun spell cos it what i asked for and now me and fiance are the happiest right now we can hold hand now without fear of being harassed or sent to jail for we are in love and we are very comfortable here.His father made sure everything was set before we even got here just like i asked it should be.Am going to also leave Mutton Osun email here just like others have done for contact purpose

Robbie Holmes said...

If you like you can me insane man for testifying and coming open to the public to glorify and rain praises upon the only one EXPERIENCED,ACCESSIBLE,TRUSTED AND MOST POWERFULLY spell caster called Ajayi Ololo for helping me use his reliable and sincere spell work to bring back to me my lovely wife after 8 months of separations. I and my wife had a misunderstanding that her family has to tell her to get a divorce which she did. Little did i know that she is really my wife and my woman. I know you reading this testimony will ask how did i know she is my woman and wife even after divorce. i get to know this because i always think of her anytime i find myself to be alone in the house and anytime i have that thinking i will always want to drink to forget about her, even with the drinks to clear her out of my brain the reflections of her beauty will always flash through my mind that i dont know what to do to get her back home. On thinking how to bring her back home for us to leave happily together and call off the divorce i went to marriage advisers and also register for how you need to get your broken marriage restored back. I spent two week on the seminar were we were always thought about the steps to take to restore a broken marriage back but to me it seems not to be helpful in anyway. my wife dont longer pick my calls and never wanted to see me again, and this was the woman that use to love,care,respect and adore me before. Her decision that resulted to our divorce was just a misup that could be easily be corrected after much apology to her that it will never repeat itself again. I know she getting to know that i was having affair outside our marriage is enough but my wife i use to know could not has gone so far even with the conviction of her family to do it. As for me i has a second a thought to know that there must be some enemies that must have been manipulating my wife against me and with that i need a help to rid of the enemy that could have entered her to make end our marriage even with much plead from my own side. on the point for searching and looking for help my mother said there is a man that she will refer me to help me. That it means am still in love with my wife since you are still thinking about her. On hearing this from my own mother helping me out on the adventure to get help to return back home my wife,i was so glad and happy. I felt so shock on the help she suggest that i should email ( for help that he is a spell caster that i know for help and reliable work because it was this same spell caster that gave me drugs to be healed and cured of cancer and taken care off. not on till my lovely mother told me that spell casting is harmless but with the help of Ajayi Ololo that uses his spell casting to make your love realize and to kill and destroy any human begin involved on the process i never knew there is a man like Dr Ajayi Ololo that is been talked about all over the states and countries.

Patrick Umez said...

Important notice to everyone that still calls Dr Ajayi Ololo Great. Go through this post of mine to know he is now the greatest and not great anymore. Because testimonies are always been posted about him and his love,caring and reliable way of helping people in the world.

After all the good articles,posts and comments that i have read and heard about Dr Ajayi, that made me contact him for my own help to restore my marriage that was falling apart because of so many reasons that i can not start to be narrating i will urge everyone to please stop calling Dr Ajayi great. Because he has made me happy by bringing back to me my lovely wife and kids that left me before because of some misunderstanding that is normal in every home in the world. SO BECAUSE OF THIS CHANCE THAT I GAVE TO HIM TO PROVE TO ME THAT ALL I HAVE READ ABOUT HIM ARE TRUE AND NOT LIES I WILL NOW SAY DR AJAYI OLOLO NAME HAS MOVE FROM BEEN GREAT TO BE THE GREATEST SPELL CASTER IN THE WORLD THAT YOU WILL RUN TO FOR ANY KIND OF HELP AND WILL NOT FAIL YOU. He brought back my wife and now we are both happy and living happily together. So many stories and testimonies about this greatest spell caster to believe him. He is not like every fake spell caster that will deceive you out of your money. He casted a spell for me that brought my wife back just with some materials that i needed to get from Columbia but i can not start going to Columbia from USA, It seems so stressful to me that i have to ask him how much to get the three form of materials that he asked for to get the spell to be casted and he told me the amount and i wired it to his messengers payment information's that he sent to me to get my spell casted. This man is a true spell caster that God / Allah has sent to restore our broken homes, win lotteries,get money spell casted for you,heal and cure any form of diseases etc. So many testimonies are all there on one blog or the other about his reliability to make you happy by granting permanent solution to every problems that take you to him. Lastly to everyone, don't be foolish to seek help from another spell caster online if is not DR AJAYI OLOLO THE GREATEST SPELL CASTER. His email is Patrick Umez

Ajayi Ololo said...

I am a spell caster called Dr Ajayi Ololo, I was the chief priest to this great temple called OLOLO at the age of 18years, and now i am almost 60 years old man. I am telling this to the world to make them know that this temple has been in existence for years now and we have been durable and truthful to all. Our work here is helping anybody to getting there heart desire, Over here in this temple we grant anything you want us to do for you and when you come to this temple you must see result of our work. NOTE: TO THE ONES THAT HAS BEEN DECEIVED BY THOSE ONLINE SCAMMERS, DO NOT COMPARE THIS GREAT TEMPLE WITH ANY OTHER SPELL CASTER THAT HAS RIPPED YOU OFF YOUR MONEY BY CLAMMING TO BE SPELL CASTERS. THEY ARE ALL FAKE AND SCAMMERS ONLINE THERE TO RIP WERE THEY DID NOT SOW, COME TO OLOLO SPELL CASTING TEMPLE AND GET YOUR HEART DESIRE WITHOUT STRESS. In this temple, we work with the spirits in the spiritual realm and they tell us how to solve any problem that you are facing and also i will want you to NOTE: THAT THIS SPELL CASTING DO NOT HAVE ANY SIDE EFFECT ON ANYONE, BUT JUST TO GET YOUR HEART DESIRE AND BE HAPPY. I Dr Ajayi Ololo urge you all that has the following problem 1.} We heal barrenness in women and disturbing menstruation 2.} Get you marriage to the lover of your choice 3.} Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage 4.} Ensure success in work and business 5.} Mental illness & bewitched 6.} Can?t sleep at night or walking at night 7.} Recover stolen property and whereabouts of people that hurt you. 8.} Bring supernatural luck into 9.} Extreme protection for those doing dangerous jobs like security guards, Bank manager, cash transporters, To mention but a few.11. Get your scam money back 12.} Bring back lost lover, even if lost for a long time 13.} Remove bad spells from homes, business & customer attraction etc. 14.} Get promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career.16.} Remove the black spot that keeps on taking your money away 17. Find out why you are not progressing in life and the solution 18.} Eliminate in family fights 19.} Ensure excellent school grades even for children with mental disabilities 20.} Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart 21.} I destroy and can send back the Nikolos if requested 22.} . COME HERE AND SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS HERE AND GET ALL YOUR HEART DESIRES HERE WITHOUT ANY-SIDE EFFECT ON IT. ANY KIND OF PROBLEM YOU ARE FACING IN LIFE SEND YOUR EMAILS TO: . to get it solved in the next 5 to 6 hours.

Anonymous said...

Midred Jackson Says

Am giving this testimony because am happy and only GOD in heaven will help me to bless and protect this great spell caster called Dr Otis Darko as he is a GODSENT into my life to change the situation of my life and restore JOY, HAPPINESS AND LAUGHTER into my life again as he alone is who I can say contact because he was the only one that could help me get my ex back to me and made him love and cherish me like never before....

My name is Midred Jackson from Michigan I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once. when I went to Africa last year on a business summit. I ment a man called DR OTIS DARKO. He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back your love’s gone, misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony because the man I had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down because our relationship has been on for 2 years… I really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when I met this spell caster, I told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him and at first I was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but I just gave it a try and in less than 2 days when I returned to MICHIGAN, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologize for everything and we had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..I didn’t believe it because the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all I wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address: and he will help out...

GREAT OTIS DARKO I thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you I would have been losted and wasted thank you. Email Him Through his email address...

Please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay or any kind of problem you are facing in life as this man is GODSENT into this world to help everyone solve their problems today in life..

What a powerful man such as DR OTIS DARKO.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. YOU CAN ALSO ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136

Anonymous said...


My name is Paulson Hooker,i am from USA.I want to share my testimony on how i get cure of my HERPES GENITAL with the help of Doctor OTIS DARKO, I have being suffering for this disease for a very long time now and I have try several means to get rid of it, but there was no solution to it because my doctor told me at the hospital that herpes has no cure.I have being scam by several people on internet who claim that they have herpes cure.but I never gave up, until I saw a post,posted by JACK WILSON. when I saw her testimony I was happy because she make a statement that the herbal doctor medicine is for free. after reading the testimony,so I collect the herbal doctor email and mail him about my herpes that I need cure and 4 hours later he replied my mail, and told me to send him my details about my self and after that he told me that his herbal medicine is free and that the only thing that I need to do, is to provide money that he will use in getting the herbal medicine preparation done and I told him that he should give me 2/3 days to get the money amd we keep on sending mail to each other and using phone calls to communicate and three days later I got the money that he request for in getting the items and I send it to him he email me that he has purchase the items that he is about to prepare the herbal medicine and after the preparation he send the herbal medicine to me via fedex and he also give me the guide line on how to use the herbal medicine and after using it for 8 days as he told me, then I went for medical checkup at the hospital and I was so surprise that the doctor congratulate me that am now herpes negative and I was so happy because at last am free from herpes and also I want to thank WILSON for using doctor OTIS DARKO to cure my herpes and another testimony is that two of my friend who also have herpes that contacted doctor OTIS DARKO for their own cure have also been cured from herpes and now they are also herpes NEGATIVE like me and if you have herpes or any other disease and you want to get rid of it, DR OTIS DARKO is the best DR to cure it. If you want to be sharing the same testimony that am sharing with other who has being cure by him kindly contact doctor OTIS DARKO via this email: .... DR OTIS GOT ALL CURE AND REMEDY TO ALL KIND OF SICKNESS YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN SUFFER FROM AND ALSO SPECIALISES IN THE FOLLOWING:

(1) If you want your ex-back.
(2) If you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) Herbal care
(10) if you are unable to satisfy your wife sex desire due to low err action.
(11) If your menstruation refuse to come out the day it suppose or over flows.
(12) If your work refuse to pay you, people owing you.
(13) Solve a land issue and get it back.
(14) Did your family Denny you of your right?
(15) Do you have a low sperm count?
(16) Are you contesting for any political position in your country?
(17) Case solves E.T.C


Anonymous said...

Goodday To EveryOne,

I am Luz Williams and am 33years old, You Know there are so many of us that are in dire need of financial help and it just doesn't seem that people understand our lives and financial situations what ever each of ours are! Do they?they dont I guess !! I was in very chronic financial and terminal health situation some few months ago after all my search for assistance from friends and neighbours proved abortive and due to this I had to swallow my pride by asking, searching, and always praying for a kind soul out there to help me and my kids who were droving outta school as a result of my inability to take up with their tuition fees properly since their dad was also late and due to this financial stress and rejection Sometimes I feel there is none who really truly cares. I wish that I could win some money so that I could solve my entire immediate family problems but it was all a mere dream as reality became so real to my face when I was unable to pay my light bills, and my food stuff bills and as a result I had no choice but to search for reputable loan agencies online that lease loans out to the needy but all I got was a bunch of scammers as I believed the very second lender I communicated with due to my desperation to get money ASAP and that made me send to him the only one money I had both on earth and in heaven which is $310 usd and after I sent this , they kept on asking for more and this made me mad that i had to shut down that email because i realized shits and i didn't bother going online to get any help anymore , because I didn't trust it anymore . I became so emaciated due to lack of good food and my 2 kids age 5 and 8 were not also good looking due to lack of proper care as a result of finance and one morning I saw an old time family fiend of my husband and I told him all I have been through and he said the only way he could help was to direct me to a good loan agency that also helped him and he explained too on how he was financially down and how he got boosted by this loan agency CALLED SLIVINUS MARKO LOAN FOUNDATION: who gave him loan at an affordable rate and he further assured me that they were legit and not scammers and he also told me what was needed to be done { THE COMPANY ADMINISTRATIVE PROCEDURE} and he also gave me the email address of the SLIVINUS MARKO LOAN AGENCY: and I contacted them as instructed and by the grace of GOD ALMIGHTY I was also granted my loan funds within 2 days without any stress or problems and this is why I have come here to give out my testimony and to let the people know that there are still real and reputable loan agencies online: .... COntact this great man now using this email address: and tell him that I Luz Williams gave you his email address to contact as he IS REAL, EFFICIENT, DYNAMIC AND 100% RELIABLE.