While listening to chatter which had tales similar to " Furreal nigga, this shit was poppin.." other classics included "There is no way she did that! Why would she do that? She knew you liked him!" To my favorite " Good ________ Ladies and gentlemen. I am sellin' candy today. I ain't doin this for no basketball charity but to put money in my pocket. I gots M&M peanuts n' sittles' and fruit rallups (note: he said fruit roll-ups but it came out as...) theys a dolla a piece. Who wants sum candy, yo?)
However I do miss the bootleg dvd salesperson, the battery person that also sells dvds, cds, batteries, Krazy Glue, and assorted novelty items with the always consistent yet jingle-eque chant of "CDs,DVDs, Batteries one dollar one dollar" and repeat. But they have been replaced by The mariachi band, more frequent 2-3 kids break-dancing team that ALWAYS slap their hands on the ceiling,Everybody goes "ohhhh!" and my favorite and probably yours...Mr. I-got-no-legs
Yes he is real. I wonder what happened to him?
Now while all of that is happening (Trust me, you get use to it) I hear two women talk. One of them was kinda cute Puerto Rican and the other was a black chick that was sporting the best weave money could buy...or at least put into a payment plan. She was portraying the "Strong independent, sistah #236 which is "I'm hood, I keeps it realz cuz Ims all about the paperz but I do read...sometimes" which is close to #125 in which that particular "sistah unit" only listens to Neo Soul and R&B and considers herself an expert on all tings black music but when confronted with people such as Phillis Wheatley or Le Chevalier De Saint-Georges....sorry ranting...
Well, during their 15 seconds of fame in my mind the following was said (this isn't exact and I was not going ot ask them to clarify) "Yo did you hear about how people were saying Omarion was bi :sucks teeth: I would never have a dude that was bicurious or whateva that nasty shit is. you can't trust them They be havin all kinds of nasty shits!" "I wouldn't either, cuz you know they are gonna cheat on ya fer' sum dick, girl. That's that down low nasty shit. I don't fucks with that!" If you knew me a strong sense of correcting them was about to be unleashed. But since they didn't ask for my input AND when people have their mind set on a falsehood they definitely dont want to hear proof . Especially from someone they would consider "one of thems down low niggas"
But since this being an op-ed/advice column and this tied in to 4 questions I got. Ladies and that one gent, this one is for you.
Will a bisexual man leave you or cheat on you because he misses the sexual organ you do not have?
As easy for me to be pissed I have to look at this objectively and acknowledge that this is a legitimate concern. There are a lot of people that are questioning their sexuality & wonder what it wold be like with the same sex if they are heterosexual or different if they believe they are homosexual. For the time being we will use the term monosexual as they are only attracted to one sex. Easy enough? I think so.
Ok first things first. Let's define down-low and the all powerful Wikipedia says:
Down-low (also "on the down low" or "on the DL") may refer to any activity or relationship kept discreet. Specifically, it may refer to:
- Keeping an act, action or some other piece of information a secret.
- Down-low (sexual slang): Men who identify as straight, but have sex with men (often a friend) on the side without disclosing this to their female partner(s).
Ok..we kinda get that now let's get bisexual defined. Taken from T
"A strict definition of a bisexual would be someone who has romantic and/or sexual relations with other people of more than one sex (though not necessarily at the same time - see section A8). However, since not everyone has necessarily had the opportunity to act on their sexual/romantic attractions, some people prefer a looser definition; for instance, that a bisexual is a person who - in their own estimation - feelspotentially able to have such attraction. This could be anyone who has erotic, affectionate, or romantic feelings for, fantasies of, and/or experiences with both men and women. A bisexual may be more attracted to one sex than the other, attracted equally to both, or find people's sex unimportant (see section A7). The strength of their attractions to men and women may vary over time."
Ok. So if you skimmed over that part it's basically saying that Bisexual men and Men who are "On the Down Low" or DL are different. However, there is one common trait. If they are gay men wishing they can be out in their commuinty or they are bisexual men trying to fit in within the either side of the monosexual spectrum be it heterosexual or the homosexual. Repressing usually leads to The Blow Back Effect. In otherwords, it can come back to haunt in a serious way. wait......WHAT? I'm sure you're asking that and let me explain.
Everygroup has a sub-group and within that sub-group usually dwells other sub-groups and so on and so forth. However there is something different about bisexuality especially bisexuality in communities of color.
Those who are part of a double minority be it lesbian and Asian or gay and Hispanic have a much harder time of acceptance than their white counterparts. Now add that to bisexuality. SO if you have a bisexual Asian male you got a triple minority or even a Hispanic bisexual female....well..that where it gets different...
Bisexual males have a harder time than bisexual females. Why? Bisexual males challenges the notion and even the strength of the all powerful phallus. Ok..bisexual women catch flack from a lot of lesbians because they feel they will go down the hetero road and marry a guy. The same i said about bi men by gay men. From the 4 guys I dated I only heard that out of one guys mouth and he walked out on the date when he finally understood that when I said I was bi I didn't mean racial. Now for Bisexual women in the land of the mainstream hetero bisexual women are looked at favorably.
Take the case of Madonna vs. Adam Lambert.
One was thought of as innovative and hot and the other was banned from tv as disturbing.
It all boils down
Being that the set standard is hetero and that somehow the penis is the magic key that can turn a lesbian straight if she met the right man. (in some countries of Africa they use "corrective rape" to "cure" alleged lesbians of their homosexuality. I say alleged because who decides what a lesbian suppose to look like? Since ANY women can be a lesbian then ANY women can be called one and be a victim. Even the straight married lady with 5 kids and a loving husband. But that is another story *sigh* a sad one at that. Now...bi men.
Somehow there is this vampire-esque mystique about the penis. As if once you hunger for it you must have it..you will go mad without dancin the tube-steak boogie. Cruisin in dark allies..THE HUNGER!
Let me put it to you this way. How often does anyone cheat? I am going to repeat that because I do think it bears repeating. How often does anyone cheat? I know I know, you don't want to worry about an added equation and competition something you don't have ladies. I know. penis can be quite enjoyable. I know. Gay dudes am I right or am I right? As sexual as we are as human being we do acknowledge the fact that even though we are sexual creatures we are emotional beings. if a person as the predisposition to cheat the are gonna do it regardless. Ladies, nobody's sexual organ is that magical. and fellas...its a vagina not the fountain of fantasy. It's all about holes and poles. If you are that worried ladies and maybe that open and dare I say cool talk about using a strap-on harness. If you aren't comfortable with that don't worry. Not every bisexual guy, heck not even every gay guy wants anal sex. Seriously.
So back to the original question: Will a bisexual man leave you or cheat on you because he misses the sexual organ you do not have? Well I guess the odds of a bisexual cheating on you is the same as any men cheating on you. Just let him be honest and free and he will be more than appreciative. For myself as a bisexual man all I ant is acceptance and understanding. Which is something I can't get from a lot of my family. SO when he or she gives that to me. HEAVEN! It's not about allowing us to be with other men. It's allowing us to acknowledge that the men in our lives that we have loved count.
One advantage about dating a bisexual guy. You both can talk about bad dates with men ;) oh lawd do I have stories. but that's for another time.
Your bi buddy,
P.S. I need a better sign off. Your bi buddy? blech
P.S.S. anybody to any M&Ms or Skittles?